大家给我个好笑的短英文笑话啊!

明天我的老师要我上去说笑话.最好是动物的.很可爱的那种!谢谢啦..

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2009-08-20 回答

1、A story——一个故事

 As a speech pathologist, I often ask patients to tell me a personal story in order to get them to open up. Here's one man's tale:

  "My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway. 'I'll tell you what,' he told her. 'In the spirit of compromise, why don't you name the boat?' Being a good sport, she accepted. And when her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side: For Sale. "

  作为一个言语病理医生, 我经常让病人讲一个自己的故事,以此引导他们开口说话。 下面是一位男病人的故事:

  我的朋友非常想要一艘船。 他的妻子一直不同意,但他还是买了一艘。 “我跟你说”他跟妻子说。“作为让步,你可以给这艘船起名”。 为了表示自己有气量,他妻子同意了。 但当他丈夫走到码头准备他的处女航时,他看到漆在船上的名字是:“出售”。

 

2、Marge was telling her friend Grace how she gets her son out of bed in the morning. "I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He sleeps with his dog."

 

3、There once were two cats in Kilkenny And each thought there was one cat too many; So they quarreled and fit And they gouged and they bit Til, excepting their nails And the tips of their tails, Instead of two cats there weren't any.

 

 

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后面两个没有中文吗?

最新回答 (1条回答)

2009-08-22 回答

1 .有一个神经病,不知道从哪里弄来了一把手枪 ,他走在一条小黑胡同里。突然遇上一个年轻人,神经病二话不说将其按在地上用枪指着他的头。问道,一加一得几。年轻人吓坏了,沉思了很久。回答,等于二。神经病毫不犹豫的打死了他。然后把抢拽在怀里,冰冷的说了一句,你知道的太多了…

2. 一个美国人、一个日本人、一个中国人在丛林探险。结果全被吃人部落抓去了。可部落酋长说:"我今天心情好,不吃你们 ,但你们都得挨一百板子,但在挨板子前你们可以有一个愿望实现。”先挨板子的是美国人。他说:"挨板子前,先给我屁股垫上1个坐垫。”垫罢,板子雨点般落下;先前70板还凑合,70板之后坐垫被打烂,然后就是板板见血……打完,美国老摸着屁股走了。日本人见状后,要求10个床垫。1、2、3…100打完,日本人起身,拍拍屁股,没事;然后张着臭嘴对自己的模仿能力和再创造能力吹嘘一番,并想坐一边看中国人的好戏。中国人慢慢趴下,悠哉悠哉地说:"来,把日本人给我垫上。”

3. 儿子:“爸爸,星期五下午您有空吗?”

爸爸:“什么事啊?”

儿子:“学校要开微型家长座谈会!”

爸爸:“什么叫微型家长座谈会?”

儿子:“就是只有班主任,你和我参加!”

4.董卓宴请吕布李儒等心腹,貂蝉作陪,为试诸人忠诚,卓命禅涂黑双乳。席间烛忽灭,复明后众人手黑独布手净。卓遂赏布,布笑,露黑齿

5.小孩带着一张假的纸币进了玩具店,要买一架玩具飞机。伙计说:“小朋友啊,你的钱不是真的。”小孩回答:“难道你的飞机是真的?”

6.按照新学校的要求,转校学生必须填写“转学自评表”。在“是否曾经因考试作弊受到处分”一栏,亮亮填了一个字“否”。下面一栏是“说明原因”,亮亮继续写道:“为曾失手”。

补充:
1. Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley. When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head. Asked one plus a few zero. Terrified young people, thought for a long time. Answer, equals two. Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate. And then get pulled in his arms, said a cold, you know too much ... 2. An American, a Japanese, a Chinese expedition in the jungle. The results were captured by tribal cannibalism. Can be tribal chiefs, said: "I'm in a good mood today, do not eat you, but you have to pay one hundred board, but you can endure before the board to have a desire to achieve." Board is the first Americans to pay. He said: "before the board to pay, give me a seat bottom cushions." Pad stop, board-like falling rain;previous 70 boards, 70 boards were smashed after the cushion, and then is finished ... ...Antiaris , the United States left behind the old feeling. After seeing this, the Japanese asked the mattress 10. 1,2,3 ... 100 over, the Japanese rose, all right; then the Zhang imitation of their capacity and ability to brag about a re-creation, and would like to sit while watching the show the Chinese people. Chinese people get on the ground slowly, carefree carefree said: "Come on, give me the Japanese mat." 3. Son: "Dad, you are available to you on Friday afternoon?" Dad: "What ah?" Son: "mini-school parents have to open the forum!" Dad: "What is micro-parents forum?" Son: "It's only a class, you and I participate in!" 4. Dong Zhuo Li, such as a banquet Riboud confidants, Diao Chan paternity, in order to test loyalty, Zhuo Ming Chan black. During the meeting, the candle out suddenly, after the sight and independence all cloth hand in hand net. Zhuo was reward cloth, cloth laughter, Lo and teeth 5. A child with a fake currency notes into the toy store, buy a toy plane. Boy said: "The children, ah, not really your money." The child replied: "Is it really your aircraft?" 6. In accordance with the requirements of the new school, changing schools, students must fill out the "school self-evaluation form." In the "ever been disciplined as a result of cheating on exams," a column filled Liangliang word "no." The following column is "explanation," continued Moon wrote: "To have lost."